Brett Favre press conference today

We were going to live-blog the Brett Favre retirement press conference and jerkoff fest, but then we realized it was Brett Favre and that we couldn't care less what he says.

But, alas, some people out there are watching it live, and have reported... Favre is crying.

What a baby. Tough guy from Southern Miss that hasn't missed a game in [make up some Chris Berman-like ridiculous absurdity] and he can't even walk away without weeping the whole way. I'm sure his publicist let him know just how great the final image of Favre crying as he walks away from the podium will look. The perfect lead-in on Sportscenter or some other garbage sports-wanker-type show.

But have some respect for yourself. You're a football player! Or at least you're supposed to be.

We get it, really we do. Historic career and all that crap. You've been shoved down our throats for years! Shit, we know more about your wife and family than we know about our own.

So, please, just go away.

Sacked for the last time

Brett Favre has retired, and I guess this time it's for real!

It's only fitting that his final play will be a horrible interception that cost his team a playoff game.

I think I speak for most rational sports fans when I say - Get lost, you hillbilly.